Regret
by prettyinpinkgal
Summary: Oneshot. Howl realizes too late that his housekeeper is the mouse he met in the alley.


**Prettyinpinkgal: My first dramatic Howl's Moving Castle fanfic. It's based on a random thought I had: What if Howl never realized Sophie was cursed? This includes maybe one or two things from the book, too. Please review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Howl's Moving Castle. It belongs to Diana Wynne Jones and Hayao Miyazaki.  
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**REGRET**

Howl honestly had no idea she was the same little mouse he had seen that day in the alley. Heck, he didn't even know she was cursed. He had assumed she was just a ninety-year-old woman. Normally, he would have noticed the magic that surrounded her, but he was often distracted thinking about the war going on.

He would never forget the day when she wasn't on her cleaning rampage. She was sitting on a chair near Calcifer, looking quite tired and pale. When he asked her if she was feeling well, she simply gave a weak smile and said she was just tired. Markl suggested that she should go to bed, which she reluctantly agreed to.

Howl then left through his personal black portal. When he came back hours later, he found that Sophie still hadn't woken up. Certain that Sophie would throw a fit, Howl quietly said through the curtain that seperated her from him, "Sophie. You should get up now."

There was no answer. Howl talked a bit louder, but still didn't hear anything. Deciding to risk being yelled at, he parted the curtain and saw Sophie still sleeping. He gently shook her shoulder, but she still didn't awaken.

By this time, he was quite concerned. "Sophie. Sophie!" Her face was colorless. Fearing the worst, he felt for a pulse. There was none.

The day of Sophie's viewing, Howl and Markl stood by her gravely. Calcifer was giving his respects in his own way at the moving castle, not making any wisecracks or anything.

Two women suddenly rushed in. "Is it true that a Sophie Hatter has recently passed?!" a blonde-haired beauty cried as an older woman ran beside her.

"Yes," Markl said, tears in his eyes. "Why?"

"Sophie Hatter is my daughter!" the older woman had shouted.

"And my sister!" the girl cried. They both looked over the coffin. Their upset faces became confused when they saw the ninety-year-old. "Th-that's not..." the young blonde started, confusion in her eyes.

Suddenly, Sophie's skin became smooth and the wrinkles disappeared. She became skinnier, and her gray hair became brown. It was the mouse Howl had rescued. Howl understood immediately: Sophie was under a curse. She was decades younger than Howl had thought. Judging by how Sophie regained her true form, he realized that the curse was one that was in effect as long as the cursed person was alive.

The two women began crying, saying, "It can't be," over and over.

"Master Howl, what's going on?" Markl asked Howl.

The older woman stopped her tears long enough to ask, "Howl? As in Horrible Howl? Did you do this to my daughter?"

Howl hastily tried to explain. He quickly told them that he was not the one who cursed her, but the two Hatters would not hear it.

"If you're so great, you would have noticed that my _sister_ was eighteen! She was robbed of her life!" the girl shouted.

This shook up Howl. For once, Howl was unable to deny an accusation. It was his fault. He should have noticed, should have realized. Sophie always had more energy than a normal ninety-year-old woman. She always seemed different than other elderly women. Why did he just realize it then? If he had only taken the time to notice it before, Sophie would have been alive, maybe even as her eighteen-year-old self.

Now it was a year since then. Howl was standing before her grave and placed some lilies on it. He heard that she used to love lilies--all flowers, really.

Howl crouched on the ground. "Hello, Sophie." His voice caught. It was the closest he'd ever come to crying. What was she doing now, looking down on him, hating him for not noticing before that she was robbed decades of her life?

"I'm sorry. I should have realized sooner..." His voice caught again. He changed the subject. "So you were the little mouse from the alley. You were a lot different then, compared to when you worked as my cleaning lady." Taking a deep breath, he said, "I met you--the real you--only once in the alley. But even so, I loved you-still love you. I guess that's what they mean by 'love at first sight'. Please forgive me, Sophie." He didn't notice the tears that were dripping from his eyes. He traced the words on the grave with his fingers.

_**Sophie Hatter**_

_**Beloved daughter, cherished sister, good friend.**_

**Prettyinpinkgal: I don't think it turned out too bad. Although I think everyone was awfully OOC. TT Gomen. Please review, anyway! Oh, and as for the gravestone, I wasn't sure what year the movie took place, so I left the years Sophie lived out. I hope it was okay!!**_**  
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